September 21, 2012
Back-to-School Voices: Ashton Rose
Last year I entered my first year at Milford High School as a trans-identified student. I had left my other school because of bullying so severe I had to be withdrawn from my classes. As a transgender guy, I use male pronouns. But my Milford teachers did not respect my identity and referred to me as “she” and “her.” They also did not call me Ashton and instead used the name that I do not like but is still attached to my legal documentation. I initially thought most of the teachers were transphobic and probably just hated me until I realized that most of the school staff didn’t even know what the word transgender meant. I came to the conclusion that I needed to give Milford educators a presentation to help them better understand transgender and gender non-conforming issues; by educating them I’m preventing teachers at my school from unknowingly hurting other students like me in the future.
One incident at school that really struck me was when I was in math class; it was the second week of school and I did not know all my teachers that well. My math teacher was young leading me to believe he would likely be more accepting than most of my other teachers. I was sitting in class and went to raise my hand to answer a question when he pointed at me and said, “Yes sir?” I was about to answer but a student shouted out, “That’s a girl.” He looked somewhat uncomfortable, maybe even embarrassed and responded, “Whatever it is.” I was shocked and terribly hurt at his use of the word “it” and the way he handled the situation.
The situation turned me off from talking to my teachers and identifying supportive staff. I had no hope in finding a supportive teacher or even one I could trust. Another thing, that I often dread even now, is finding a bathroom I can use with the least amount of hassle. Obviously using the male bathroom would be virtually impossible and something that could get me expelled. Conversely, entering the girl’s bathroom isn’t the most convenient either. There was one time when I walked into the girl’s restroom and immediately was given weird looks by a group girls standing at the mirror. I entered a stall quickly and the girls immediately began snickering and saying things about me being ‘disgusting’ and ‘strange.’
Before I left I washed my hands and as I was walking out I heard one girl say, “That thing shouldn’t be allowed in here.” Ultimately it ruined the rest of the week for me. After that incident with the bathrooms I decided to see my school counselor. I figured it was inevitable that I come out to her. And I found myself surprised when she focused on helping me feel safer in school. Afterwards I went to see her every week. I expressed my fear of coming out to my teachers and them not treating me as a student, but she was quick to offer me many alternatives. One day the counselor called me down to her office and told me she had someone she wanted me to meet. She introduced me to an openly gay teacher at school with a wonderful partner and adopted twins! We spoke for a while and I started feeling better.
Once I discovered that I had support in my school I realized that I needed to take action. After a four day summit as a GLSEN Student Ambassador, I found other adults and resources that could help me make my school a better place for trans students. It really empowered me and I was soon very excited to make my way back to my high school with new support and confidence. I knew I could work with GLSEN to put a presentation together and educate my teachers because being in the dark about these subjects can really hurt other trans students in their quest to come out. Not only did I have the help of GLSEN, I had a new outlook on teachers that would support me in the midst of my push for teacher training. And I realized that educating my teachers could help me advocate for a trans-inclusive school policy.
Creating a trans-inclusive school policy would make my school safer and more affirming for students like me. I want to focus on my class work and the year ahead instead of worrying about what pronouns my teachers use towards me, whether or not I can go to the bathroom at school without experiencing harassment or even what clothes I can wear that I feel most comfortable in. I simply want to do well in school and figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. And I believe I can get there with my school’s support.
Resources to help you get back to school
Ashton is participating in GLSEN’s Student Ambassador program, a student leadership program run by GLSEN’s communications department. If you are interested in GLSEN’s Student Ambassador program, make sure you are subscribed to student updates and we’ll let you know when applications open this spring.
Check out: GLSEN’s Model District Policy for Trans & Gender Nonconforming Students:
What have YOU done to transform you school? What ideas or tips can you provide to other LGBT students overcoming challenges? Share your story with us so that we can share it with world. Together, we’ll be inspired to make this school year even better than the last – for everyone.